A Rant a Rave. Why?
I have been inspired on this rainy day to contemplate why Roland Emmerich likes making disaster films, and I have had an epiphany. People are just crazy. Seriously, you've had those moments when things go from "no you didn't" to "I'm pushing the big red button."
1. Extreme Distracted Driving: If this is you, please stop. As a travel everyday up Route 1, with Jonesy in the AM ranting in the background, I am amazed at the number of of people who think multi-tasking and driving go hand in hand. No, you cannot read the news paper while driving. No, your stupid behind should not put on mascara while speeding at 80 miles an hour. No, you should not use the morning sojourn as an opportunity to beat the snot out of your boyfriend because he was "out with that trick." (Close the damn window!!) Shaving...duh! It's your neck. All the aforementioned behaviors could be characterized as distracted driving. Don't do it. And when you get beeped at for wandering into another lane, DON'T EVEN try to look indignant.
2. Piss Poor Movie Manners: Oh, Lawdy. Let's not go there. (Please, let's go there!!) Alright. Get to the movies on time. Do not come in late with your posse of 12 and then ASK me to move down. Excuse you! Don't you know that I got to the movies on time so that I could get a "good seat"? Have you lost your ever-flipping mind? Then on top of it, you have the nerve to sneak in friggin' cheessteaks, chicken, and 2 liters of soda. But it gets better. Since you arrived late, you missed that big announcement about golden silence, you forgot that it's impolite to answer your phone in the middle of the film. (Really though, you're just damn ignorant.) Then you open/ answer your phone, and the light from the phone shoots through the darkness like a doggone lightsaber pulling the movie-going audience out of viewing experience. Oh, yeah. This is a viewing experience, NOT a talk show or family dinner. So please stop yelling at the screen. Yelling things like "That ain't right", "Run, girl!", or "Pray!" will fall on deaf celluloid ears.
3. Gratuitous Flesh: There is a big fat fluorescent line between sexy and slutty. Great clothing with great lines makes us all want to strut. Sexiness is much more about what you conceal than reveal. Explain to me the reasoning behind coming to court (smile) with a cowl necked sweater millimeters away from disaster. To add insult to injury, she oiled her chest. I guess having ginormous sagging floppy breasts wasn't enough. She wanted a reflection as well, like Armor-All for tires. Seriously, if this woman had tripped, the courtroom would have been shut down because everyone would have been in a corner muttering that they'd seen hell. Nasty. Thankfully, one of the courtroom officers made her zip her jacket, and she didn't trip.
4. Wealthy Preachers: This is something that truly puzzles me, and I am a church-goer. I don't get ministers/ priests that use their congregations to subsidize their luxurious lifestyles. Do they live what they preach? God will still love you if you fly commercial and sell that private jet to get someone out of poverty.
5. Extreme Patriotism: Believe it or not, true patriotism encourages and embraces dissent. It's an obligation. When your country does not live up to the the guarantees it makes, it is your job to cry foul, especially when elected leaders treat the Constitution like toilet paper. Hold the government accountable. Stop telling people to leave because they disagree with the company line
1. Extreme Distracted Driving: If this is you, please stop. As a travel everyday up Route 1, with Jonesy in the AM ranting in the background, I am amazed at the number of of people who think multi-tasking and driving go hand in hand. No, you cannot read the news paper while driving. No, your stupid behind should not put on mascara while speeding at 80 miles an hour. No, you should not use the morning sojourn as an opportunity to beat the snot out of your boyfriend because he was "out with that trick." (Close the damn window!!) Shaving...duh! It's your neck. All the aforementioned behaviors could be characterized as distracted driving. Don't do it. And when you get beeped at for wandering into another lane, DON'T EVEN try to look indignant.
2. Piss Poor Movie Manners: Oh, Lawdy. Let's not go there. (Please, let's go there!!) Alright. Get to the movies on time. Do not come in late with your posse of 12 and then ASK me to move down. Excuse you! Don't you know that I got to the movies on time so that I could get a "good seat"? Have you lost your ever-flipping mind? Then on top of it, you have the nerve to sneak in friggin' cheessteaks, chicken, and 2 liters of soda. But it gets better. Since you arrived late, you missed that big announcement about golden silence, you forgot that it's impolite to answer your phone in the middle of the film. (Really though, you're just damn ignorant.) Then you open/ answer your phone, and the light from the phone shoots through the darkness like a doggone lightsaber pulling the movie-going audience out of viewing experience. Oh, yeah. This is a viewing experience, NOT a talk show or family dinner. So please stop yelling at the screen. Yelling things like "That ain't right", "Run, girl!", or "Pray!" will fall on deaf celluloid ears.
3. Gratuitous Flesh: There is a big fat fluorescent line between sexy and slutty. Great clothing with great lines makes us all want to strut. Sexiness is much more about what you conceal than reveal. Explain to me the reasoning behind coming to court (smile) with a cowl necked sweater millimeters away from disaster. To add insult to injury, she oiled her chest. I guess having ginormous sagging floppy breasts wasn't enough. She wanted a reflection as well, like Armor-All for tires. Seriously, if this woman had tripped, the courtroom would have been shut down because everyone would have been in a corner muttering that they'd seen hell. Nasty. Thankfully, one of the courtroom officers made her zip her jacket, and she didn't trip.
4. Wealthy Preachers: This is something that truly puzzles me, and I am a church-goer. I don't get ministers/ priests that use their congregations to subsidize their luxurious lifestyles. Do they live what they preach? God will still love you if you fly commercial and sell that private jet to get someone out of poverty.
5. Extreme Patriotism: Believe it or not, true patriotism encourages and embraces dissent. It's an obligation. When your country does not live up to the the guarantees it makes, it is your job to cry foul, especially when elected leaders treat the Constitution like toilet paper. Hold the government accountable. Stop telling people to leave because they disagree with the company line
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