Have Monkey and Xanax? Comedy Will Not Ensue
What the h-e-double hockey sticks is wrong with people? I don't know what I'm offended by more, the fact that someone gave a psychotic monkey, excuse me, chimpanzee xanax OR the fact that said chimpanzee was preferred to eat off of fine china.
I must beg your forgiveness as I admit that upon hearing the story about the "Chimp Attack", I hollered. Not out of horror, but because the 911 operator did not believe the chimp's "mother." You must hear the entire 911 call to truly appreciate this. If she loved that chimp so much why was she screaming "Shoot it! Shoot it!"
I love animals, but all animals even the domesticated ones (if there is such a thing) deserve respect. In addition to walking around on their knuckles all day and appearing in Cannonball Run movies, chimpanzees are extraordinarily intelligent and adorable. (Who could forget Project X? When little Virgil flew off into the Everglades, I wept.) However, upon reaching adolescence, chimpanzees become recalcitrant, belligerent and crackish. (see earlier post) Michael Jackson found this out the hard way. Remember that Martin Bashir interview where MJ was asked about Bubbles? Mike's eyes got really big and he related to Bashir how Bubbles hd to be sent to a reserve because he became too much to handle. That chimp probably whooped Mike's narrow behind,but Mike will never admit it.
While they're cute and might look good in human clothes, chimpanzees do not belong on idyllic cul-de-sacs in the suburbs. They belong in the wild, a licensed long term reserve, or a zoo. It scared the heck out of me when news reports indicated that chimps have 4 to 5 times the upper body strength of your average man. Pair that with canine teeth and mental instability and there's a recipe for disaster. Thank God that Travis did not get his prehensile thumbs on an infant or a toddler.
Speaking of disaster...what doctor prescribed Xanax to a chimp with lyme disease induced psychosis? Oh,that's right. No one. Don't tell me that Travis' mother could handle him. He unlocked the front door, took the car keys, and tried to get in the car to go for a drive. He refused to come into the house, so he was given Xanax? Then while Travis is still agitated, a family friend comes by to visit. The woman did nothing other than change her hair style, and Travis went ape-poop on the woman. How ridiculous does this seem? The 911 operator sure thought so, until he realized that it wasn't prank. How many phone calls do you think 911 operators get about chimps whipping the poo-whip out of people? None!
Exotic pets are dangerous. (To the people with lynxes and ocelots and wolves... There's a reason these animals are better off in the wild. We disrespect these amazing creatures when we put little sweaters on them and let them drink wine. It's beyond unethical. It's amazing that when Travis' natural animal behavior manifested itself, he was stabbed, shot, and left to die. His last display of gratitude? Sneaking back into his home to die in his cage. His life ended in the very place his did not belong, in a cage in the suburbs.
I must beg your forgiveness as I admit that upon hearing the story about the "Chimp Attack", I hollered. Not out of horror, but because the 911 operator did not believe the chimp's "mother." You must hear the entire 911 call to truly appreciate this. If she loved that chimp so much why was she screaming "Shoot it! Shoot it!"
I love animals, but all animals even the domesticated ones (if there is such a thing) deserve respect. In addition to walking around on their knuckles all day and appearing in Cannonball Run movies, chimpanzees are extraordinarily intelligent and adorable. (Who could forget Project X? When little Virgil flew off into the Everglades, I wept.) However, upon reaching adolescence, chimpanzees become recalcitrant, belligerent and crackish. (see earlier post) Michael Jackson found this out the hard way. Remember that Martin Bashir interview where MJ was asked about Bubbles? Mike's eyes got really big and he related to Bashir how Bubbles hd to be sent to a reserve because he became too much to handle. That chimp probably whooped Mike's narrow behind,but Mike will never admit it.
While they're cute and might look good in human clothes, chimpanzees do not belong on idyllic cul-de-sacs in the suburbs. They belong in the wild, a licensed long term reserve, or a zoo. It scared the heck out of me when news reports indicated that chimps have 4 to 5 times the upper body strength of your average man. Pair that with canine teeth and mental instability and there's a recipe for disaster. Thank God that Travis did not get his prehensile thumbs on an infant or a toddler.
Speaking of disaster...what doctor prescribed Xanax to a chimp with lyme disease induced psychosis? Oh,that's right. No one. Don't tell me that Travis' mother could handle him. He unlocked the front door, took the car keys, and tried to get in the car to go for a drive. He refused to come into the house, so he was given Xanax? Then while Travis is still agitated, a family friend comes by to visit. The woman did nothing other than change her hair style, and Travis went ape-poop on the woman. How ridiculous does this seem? The 911 operator sure thought so, until he realized that it wasn't prank. How many phone calls do you think 911 operators get about chimps whipping the poo-whip out of people? None!
Exotic pets are dangerous. (To the people with lynxes and ocelots and wolves... There's a reason these animals are better off in the wild. We disrespect these amazing creatures when we put little sweaters on them and let them drink wine. It's beyond unethical. It's amazing that when Travis' natural animal behavior manifested itself, he was stabbed, shot, and left to die. His last display of gratitude? Sneaking back into his home to die in his cage. His life ended in the very place his did not belong, in a cage in the suburbs.
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