CSI: Miami et al
Dear Diary,
I've got to get this off my chest. I started watching this Crime Scene Investigation show at the suggestion of my mother because she's been drinking the David Caruso water. (Thanks Mom)
I got into the show because of the DuDelko factor. What is the DuDelko factor? There are two CSIs on the show that have been the "will they or won't they" for the past few seasons. "Will they or won't they" story lines are my kryptonite. So anyway, Delko (played by the pulchritudinous Adam Rodriguez) gets shot in the head a few seasons ago and almost dies. His partner Duquesne (aptly acted by the ageless Emily Procter) prays at his bedside as he lay comatose. Fast forward another season and Duquesne's giving mixed signals, touching Delko in the hips, and you can totally tell he's feeling her. He wanted the cookie, but she ends up giving the cookie to an old boyfriend Jake.
In this season, she broke up with Jake, so fans were ready for the "it" moment. The "it" moment was expected on Nov. 3 after DuDelko nearly bought it after a construction crane crashed into the building. The teasers for the show totally tricked me. The only "I wish I had recorded this" moment occurred when Duquesne got popped in the face by a victim's wife. When I say popped I mean eyeshadow, blush, and lipgloss smacked off her face. DuDelko did not get together. I don't like being tricked.
Now, let me start this by saying, I think all of the actors in the show are talented, but I am at a total loss as to why this show continues to be on the air despite the rather banal writing.
First let me talk about some technical issues that really drive those of us in the criminal justice business up the wall. 1. Police departments DO NOT have the money or manpower to analyze the sweat on a minute piece of glass for dead skin cells. 2. CSIs do not wear white hip-huggers, platform shoes and $500 suits to bloody crime scenes. 3. The ether-based computer as seen in the film The Minority Report starring Tom Cruise is not readily available at your local Best Buy. 4. Most criminal cases take months sometimes years to solve. Even with good forensics. 5. Most defendants are not stupid video game villans. You know what I'm talking about. Metal Gear Solid head cases that emote and monologue about their nefarious motives just in time for the credits to roll. Case solved. Let's go off and violate someone else's Constitutional rights while looking HOT.
Alright, now for the silly stuff:
1.What is with Horatio Cane's glasses? Are they like Bill Cosby's marker on Picture Pages? (if you don't know about the marker, you are deprived.) He takes them off and says something like, "blah, blah, blah, murder" and then he puts them on again at the end of the show. (Mr. Caruso, I love your eyes. Put those baby blues to use!! If I'm a suspect, all you have to do is look at me. I'll confess. I'll even turn state's evidence. Hey!)
2. How do the female cast members run around in platform shoes and tight pants? Callie did a Shatner-esque shoulder roll after mimosas and brunch in the middle of the street. And to add insult to injury, her hair was perfect. If that had been me, my pants would have split and one of my shoes would have lost a heel. Is there no justice?
3. What is up with David Caruso's hair? I can suggest a great silk-based product that will give his hair some control and keep it from looking like baby Jack-Jack from The Incredibles.
4. When is Eva LaRue going to get a chance to flex those soap opera chops? Get girlfriend out of the lab. Emote!!
I've got to get this off my chest. I started watching this Crime Scene Investigation show at the suggestion of my mother because she's been drinking the David Caruso water. (Thanks Mom)
I got into the show because of the DuDelko factor. What is the DuDelko factor? There are two CSIs on the show that have been the "will they or won't they" for the past few seasons. "Will they or won't they" story lines are my kryptonite. So anyway, Delko (played by the pulchritudinous Adam Rodriguez) gets shot in the head a few seasons ago and almost dies. His partner Duquesne (aptly acted by the ageless Emily Procter) prays at his bedside as he lay comatose. Fast forward another season and Duquesne's giving mixed signals, touching Delko in the hips, and you can totally tell he's feeling her. He wanted the cookie, but she ends up giving the cookie to an old boyfriend Jake.
In this season, she broke up with Jake, so fans were ready for the "it" moment. The "it" moment was expected on Nov. 3 after DuDelko nearly bought it after a construction crane crashed into the building. The teasers for the show totally tricked me. The only "I wish I had recorded this" moment occurred when Duquesne got popped in the face by a victim's wife. When I say popped I mean eyeshadow, blush, and lipgloss smacked off her face. DuDelko did not get together. I don't like being tricked.
Now, let me start this by saying, I think all of the actors in the show are talented, but I am at a total loss as to why this show continues to be on the air despite the rather banal writing.
First let me talk about some technical issues that really drive those of us in the criminal justice business up the wall. 1. Police departments DO NOT have the money or manpower to analyze the sweat on a minute piece of glass for dead skin cells. 2. CSIs do not wear white hip-huggers, platform shoes and $500 suits to bloody crime scenes. 3. The ether-based computer as seen in the film The Minority Report starring Tom Cruise is not readily available at your local Best Buy. 4. Most criminal cases take months sometimes years to solve. Even with good forensics. 5. Most defendants are not stupid video game villans. You know what I'm talking about. Metal Gear Solid head cases that emote and monologue about their nefarious motives just in time for the credits to roll. Case solved. Let's go off and violate someone else's Constitutional rights while looking HOT.
Alright, now for the silly stuff:
1.What is with Horatio Cane's glasses? Are they like Bill Cosby's marker on Picture Pages? (if you don't know about the marker, you are deprived.) He takes them off and says something like, "blah, blah, blah, murder" and then he puts them on again at the end of the show. (Mr. Caruso, I love your eyes. Put those baby blues to use!! If I'm a suspect, all you have to do is look at me. I'll confess. I'll even turn state's evidence. Hey!)
2. How do the female cast members run around in platform shoes and tight pants? Callie did a Shatner-esque shoulder roll after mimosas and brunch in the middle of the street. And to add insult to injury, her hair was perfect. If that had been me, my pants would have split and one of my shoes would have lost a heel. Is there no justice?
3. What is up with David Caruso's hair? I can suggest a great silk-based product that will give his hair some control and keep it from looking like baby Jack-Jack from The Incredibles.
4. When is Eva LaRue going to get a chance to flex those soap opera chops? Get girlfriend out of the lab. Emote!!
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